What is trauma?
Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms our body's natural ability to cope, causing feelings of helplessness, leading us to disconnect from ourselves and the ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.
When most people think about trauma, they tend to think about war, combat, natural disasters, physical or sexual abuse, terrorism, and catastrophic accidents. These are some of the most profound and, some may argue, the most debilitating experiences one can endure. However, an accumulation of smaller or less pronounced events can still be traumatic, but in the small 't' form.
Small ‘t’ traumas may be an accumulation of events that exceed our capacity to cope and cause a disruption in emotional functioning. These distressing events are not inherently life or bodily-integrity threatening, but may cause feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. Some examples include: emotional neglect, relationship conflict, loss, abrupt or extended relocation, and financial worries.
The consequences of trauma
Traumatic and life changing events can lead us to become disconnected from ourselves, others, and the world around us. Often people find that their emotions can rapidly shift from being states of high anxiety and irritability to feeling low, numb and detached. We can become triggered and highly reactive to any reminders of the traumatic event.
This is how our minds and bodies survive the impact of trauma. Overtime however, this may start to affect life, work, and relationships, and the ability to enjoy life.
Traumas and distressing events can hijack our sense of well-being. The good news is, our brains have neuro-plasticity, which means that it is capable of changing and adapting to form new connections. This means that our mind and body can recover and be restored.
Healing from trauma
You are not your trauma, trauma doesn't have to define you. With reframing and reprocessing distressing memories, you can learn to reconnect with yourself and others. You can change the course of your life by focusing on the things that support your healing. In doing so, the thoughts and reactivity that harm you will diminish over time. You can find your value and purpose and move forward in the way that you wish.
Psychological therapy and EMDR, can help you to overcome the consequences of trauma, at your pace. Your healing journey is unique to you. Trauma may have infiltrated every part of your life, but you can change what it has done to you. That time was not lost or wasted but can feel very painful and sad to recognise. It can be processed with a new perspective.
You will learn what is operating in your body and mind and how it is subconsciously holding you to trauma responses. You can get past the past. You don't have to re-live your trauma or be constantly triggered by it.
EMDR therapy can help you tap into your healing, personal growth and resilience.
Suggested reading
-
From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)
-
The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma (Bessel van der Kolk)
-
Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation (Boon, Steele, Van Der Hart)
-
We All Have Parts: An Illustrated Guide to Healing Trauma with Internal Family Systems (Colleen West)
-
The Compassionate Mind Workbook: A step-by-step guide to developing your compassionate self (Chris Irons and Elaine Beaumont)
-
Why love matters (Sue Gerhardt)
-
The Drama of the Gifted Child (Alice Miller)
-
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Brené Brown)